The beautiful Madison Welch comes to us from across the pond. (That means England.) She's a longtime Page 3 girl, which means she takes her clothes off and people take pictures of her and then other people buy a newspaper and immediately turn to page 3 so they can see some boobies. It's quite a system they've got over there, really no wonder they managed to take over the world a few hundred years ago. Then America came along and invented the internet and, wait, they still have newspapers? No wonder we won the Revolutionary War.

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