Patrick Bateman

The Opening Ceremonies for the 2012 Olympics is set to take place this Friday, but two of the fine faces we were hoping to see partake in the infamous orgies at Olympic Village won’t be in attendance thanks to a ‘racist’ tweet and a flat out failure to qualify.

Jessica’s a 29-year-old bikini fitness competitor, personal trainer, and nutritionist from Rockville, Maryland who used to be a cheerleader for the Redskins.

Charley’s a 22 year old model and webcam girl from foggy London town who can be seen on Bluebird TV.

Stephanie’s a 25-year-old model and moto-cross rider from Mesa, Arizona who comes to us via The Babe Spot.

Amanda’s a 28-year-old model, skincare specialist and mixologist bartender from St. Petersburg, Florida who was Citynet Magazine’s Miss March 2012.

Portlandia has endeared the nation, nay, the world to the weird charm of Stumptown aka Rose City. Many might not know the area is actually a strip club haven – with exotic dancers that are more akin to SuicideGirls than Hooters waitresses. If you need further reason why Portland should be your next …

Of all the female comedians out there, Sarah Silverman might have the biggest balls. Actually, that’s sexist. She’s got bigger beans than most male comedians. This publicity stunt could be her ballsiest move to date.

Heather’s a 24-year-old model from Charlotte, North Carolina who competed in the 2011 Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant.

Shantal is a 23-year-old model and full-time student who comes to us via The Babe Spot. She was born in Seattle and now lives in Tempe, Arizona. She plans to major in biology at Arizona State University, but also has aspirations of attending graduate school and becoming an actress.

Karolina’s a 22-year-old model originally from Warsaw, Poland now living in Miami.

Chelsea’s a 19-year-old model from Iowa Park, Texas who’s currently pursuing her nursing degree from Vernon College.

Jessica’s a 29-year-old model from Orlando, Florida who’s done work for Hot Import Nights, the NHRA, and DoubleD Race and Tuning.