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When the ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Breaks Bad [PHOTOS]

Are you familiar with the “Elf on the Shelf” legend? We decided to try it, and this is a part of the story that Santa never wanted you to know!

The Elf on the Shelf, here;s the way it works. The Elf sits somewhere quietly observing the kids during the days before Christmas, and each night comes to life and flies to the North Pole to report to Santa on whether the kids have been naughty or nice. Then each morning when the kids get up, the Elf is in a totally different spot, and the kids look for him.

This is what happens when the Elf on the Shelf… BREAKS BAD!

First it was just the foul language, and mean pranks… I thought this isn’t very “Santa Elf-ish”, but being our first year, I decided to let some things slide.

pranks Facebook

Then things just got worse. He was using abusive language, and just being belligerent. I was shocked when I walked into the room to find him searching porn on my computer.


It all began to make a little more sense the next day when I found him with a bottle of wine. I could let the wine go, but he was popping pills too. The prescription was in his name, and he does have a stressful job, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.


Then it just got worse! He was drinking and using prescription meds, in hindsight that must have been the biggest part of the problem. but he was the direct line to the North Pole… this dude answers to The Claus himself. I didn’t want to pitch a fit just yet, because I was on the nice list. It was then that I realized he had moved from wine to the harder stuff.


Then he just got worse… he hooked up with a couple of the Barbie Girls from the other end of the house, and that’s when I contacted the North Pole Human Resources Department.


I was livid and broke up their little threesome… because it was unprofessional, and I may have been a little jealous. Never the less I ordered him to report to Santa immediately. What he didn’t know was that I was going to follow him. He went to the pole, but not the North Pole.


That is when I went back to the house, and was going to send a message to Santa and let him know how disappointed I was with this Elf on the Shelf when I saw the link to this news story.


I heard him in the other room so I went in to ask him about the news story, and he was partying as usual. When I asked about the story he went CRAZY! He started cussing and screaming about how I was on the naughty list for LIFE! I figured screw it, and demanded that he leave. Naughty or Nice… I no longer cared. I was going to take a shower and go to bed.


Then as I was in the shower, and had just washed the shampoo from my eyes, like a scene out of “Psycho”  I saw THIS…


A struggle ensued, I was afraid for my life and this is what happened…


Next year… we are just going send a letter to St. Nick, try to be good and hope for the best!

(For more on this elf thing follow me on twitter!)

Here’s another horrifying tale of a bad shelf elf… HAIL SANTA!


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