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10 More Unnecessarily Sexy Halloween Costumes

unnecessarily sexy Halloween costumes

We get it now. The fact that Halloween has become a socially acceptable excuse for women (and some men) to dress as provocatively as possible without getting arrested isn’t some sad commentary on modern society. No, it’s much more than that.

It’s a game. It’s a challenge. It’s a battle to see who can make the most utterly prosaic, non-sexy thing a now-uncomfortably-sexy thing.

And it’s getting ridiculous. In our own search for a festive holiday disguise, we found 10 more Halloween costumes that have been sadly, absurdly, and unnecessarily sexified. After the undue horror these unwittingly frightening costumes bring about, we feel it’s important that, moving forward, we refrain from transforming food, dead things, evil toys, instruments, underage things and boardgames into sexy costumes. (Also, mutants with scissors for hands are not sexy, no matter what Winona Ryder tells you.)

Sexy Guitar ($54)

There is nothing sexy about dressing up like a musical instrument.

Naughty Twister ($68)

Twister is a game that can become sexy. But not as a costume.

Sexy Mummy ($49)

Mummies are decayed humans wrapped in dried up clothes. They are not sexy.

Naughty Cake ($78)

Cake can be tasty and frosting can be fun, but dressing like a cake is not sexy.

Sexy Sriracha (aka Chickracha) ($19)

Sriracha is spicy but dressing like sriracha and calling yourself "chickracha" definitely is not.

Naughty Monopoly ($44)

There is nothing sexy about Monopoly. Just nothing.

Naughty Banana ($22)

Bananas? Sexy? Nope. Just bananas.

Sexy, um, Baby??? ($54)

There's something really wrong with you if you think dressing up like a baby is sexy.

Sexy Scissorhands ($50)

Scissorhands are dangerous, not sexy.

Sexy Chucky ($35)

The Chucky Doll is freakish and frightening and none of us ever wants to find him sexy.

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