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Magic Mike – Clingy G-Strings, Clingy Strippers [Movie Review]

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Warner Bros teased and taunted us for weeks with the promise of unabashed beefcake nekkidity.  They worked us “Woo-Birds” into a frenzy, packing us into theaters, ready to wave our ceremonious fivers in the air – and then they hit us…

HEY! They put a movie in the middle of my strip show!
And one of those artsy, long-winded Soderbergh productions at that.

The film is loosely based on star Channing Tatum’s life, and portrays him as an entrepreneurial, ambitious, and kinda clingy stripper with a heart of gold.  While on one of his day jobs, he meets “The Kid” (portrayed by Alex Pettyfer), and quickly introduces him to his world.  Attached to The Kid is his responsible and disapproving sister, Brooke (played by Cody Horn), who tries her very best to shun Magic Mike’s charm and soppy clinginess – which you know ain’t gonna happen.

In the middle of the burgeoning love story, we have Matthew McConaughey’s character Dallas, a former stripper, who’s become a little long in the tooth and now owns the club Xquisite, where all the beefcake dance is on display.  He’s slick, he’s greedy, and in the end shows us he has a few more – um – assets – than just those chiseled abs.  Dallas’ greed and goals can’t compete with the clambering love-jones Mike has for Brooke.

As far as a movie goes, there were a few moments of worthy snickers, but the overall script was weak, and the artsy direction and background scenery statements over-played.  It was as if this movie were more of a comedy, quickly re-written on-the-fly to be a romantic drama.  It just didn’t work for me.

The dancing, on the other hand, was superb.  Fine choreography.  Ladies – be honest.  If you went, you know darn well that’s what you went for.  I “WOOO’d” myself silly, despite the stone-faced church lady with the perma-wince sitting next to me.  The only thing it lacked was a lot more Joe Manganiello (who portrayed Big Dick Richie – or BDR).  Soderbergh states every strip-clip done in the movie was actually filmed in a full length routine, so when the DVD is released, I am hoping for a “Choreographer’s Cut” – or at least all the routines in a nice bonus feature – in 3D.

Tell me again why they didn’t make this flick in 3D?

Final Cut – Script: 2/5 WOOO’s                Dancing/Stripping: 4/5 WOOO’s
Magic Mike – Rated R, Run-Time 110 minutes

 

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