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Kiss-Masked Vandals Damage 25 Cars in Late-Night Crime Spree

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Four men dressed in Kiss masks vandalized over two dozen cars at a New Jersey auto body shop on Saturday night, causing approximately $400,000 in damage.

As you can see above, these idiotic “Creatures of the Night” — apparently all dressed like singer / guitarist Paul Stanley — were caught on film during their crime spree, which saw them damaging automobiles at SB Maaco’s in Saddle Brook, N.J. with spray paint, a fire extinguisher, metal pipes and shovels.

Shop owner Walter Karol told CBS New York that he believes the suspects knew they were being filmed. “I mean they’re right in front of the camera,” he declared. “I mean it’s three feet away this time.” Indeed, the men do seem to be playing to the audience a bit, even chest-bumping each other at one point.

Which means it’s fair to criticize their performance, as we would any rock and roll show. So here goes: First off, would it be that hard to find all four Kiss masks? Or why not go all-in and wear the band’s trademark leather, studs and platform boots? Also, that shovel should have been replaced by a guitar. But most importantly: if you’re going to break the law and do so much needless property damage — which we most certainly don’t condone — the least one of these goons could have done is to melt a car by breathing fire.

Next: The Most Demonic Kiss Songs

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