In Time For Valentine’s Day, Two Chefs Taste-Test Six Different Edible Erotic Gifts!
Obviously, for Valentine’s Day, you’re going to buy some kind of EROTIC EDIBLE. But which one? There are so many to choose from, right?
To help you out, two chefs in the Houston area taste-tested six popular edible erotic gifts, and ranked them from best tasting to worst. Here’s what they found.
#6.) Edible strawberry underwear. They smell like Fruit Roll-Ups and taste like, quote, “the worst cotton candy ever.” Plus they’re made with chemicals, and are extremely sticky. So you might regret putting them over your naughty parts.
#5.) Edible finger body paint. One chef said, quote, “These taste like the barium shakes they make you drink before [medical tests.] It leaves a gross film on the back of your throat.”
#4.) Edible candy bra. It looks like those candy necklaces you wore as a kid, but since the bras sit on shelves for a while, they tend to get really stale.
#3.) Jawbreaker ball gag. Both chefs liked the way the ball gag tasted in their mouth . . . quote, “[it's] like a real Jawbreaker.” At least it’s better than rubber.
#2.) Cinnamon Kama Sutra lube. The flavor was similar to Red Hots. The only problem was that it was advertised as a warming lube and never really warmed up.
#1.) Lovers body pen set. These body pens let you write on someone in chocolate. Quote, “It tastes just like Nestle’s strawberry milk. This would even taste good in large quantities.”