Five Drinks Real Men Should Never Order
I saw where that actor/radio guy Steve Harvey wrote some book titled “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man”… not sure what it was about, but I call Bull***t!!!
If you are a real MAN, then think like a MAN, and act like a MAN, and the one place you should ALWAYS act like a man is the bar!
I hit my limit on this topic this weekend when I stopped by the bar, and heard a group of guys placing their order. So, I put together a quick list of 5 drinks, that I believe a real man should never order at a bar… I am not saying you shouldn’t drink them… you can drink them all you want in the privacy of your own home, hell, you can even love them, just don’t order them in public.
Before I get started on what not to order, keep in mind that to be truly “manly”, you can always order one of these three… Beer, Whiskey, or Tequila.
JEFF’S LIST OF DRINKS REAL MEN SHOULD NEVER ORDER AT THE BAR
1.) Fuzzy Navel — Peach Schnapps is a chick drink no matter what you mix it with. A fuzzy navel is peach schnapps mixed with orange juice… the lamest way to drink it.
2.) Anything You Can’t Pronounce — Sure you can try something new, but if you do not know the correct way to pronounce it… order beer, or keep your mouth shut.
3.) An Appletini — Fact of business, don’t order a damn thing that ends in “tini”, unless it is an old fashioned vodka martini James Bond style, but even then, drink it in a regular glass.
4.) A Cosmopolitan — There is a Women’s Magazine by the same title, and the chicks on Sex In The City always drank them, so that’s reason enough.
5.) Any Fruit Flavored Malt Beverage — That is stuff like Smirnoff Ice, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, or Bacardi Silver. (I was going to list Zima, but I don’t even know if they still make that stuff). You can drink them at home if you wish, but when you step into the bar… be a man.
Here’s an MP3 I found of John Wayne on alcohol talking about being men… I don’t mean he’s talking about alcohol… I mean he was drunk when it was recorded…