Kevin Signalness of Portland, Oregon pulled off a rare feat on Monday... he pulled off what we're calling a CRIME PENTATHLON.  That's five different, unique crimes all done simultaneously... and you rarely see that happen.  Let's break it down...

#1.) Kevin stole a car...

#2.) Drove the car drunk...

#3.) Plowed it through some police tape and into a crime scene where the police were investigating a murder...

#4.) Had his JUNK EXPOSED...

#5.) And was looking at a PORNO MAGAZINE on the seat next to him at the time.

The police from the crime scene took a quick break to arrest him.  He was hit with a ton of charges ranging from car theft and driving under the influence, to reckless driving and public indecency. 

(He also wins the award for "Criminal who looks like he's straight out of a DICK TRACY cartoon.")