Kevin Signalness of Portland, Oregon pulled off a rare feat on Monday... he pulled off what we're calling a CRIME PENTATHLON.  That's five different, unique crimes all done simultaneously... and you rarely see that happen.  Let's break it down...

#1.) Kevin stole a car...

#2.) Drove the car drunk...

#3.) Plowed it through some police tape and into a crime scene where the police were investigating a murder...

#4.) Had his JUNK EXPOSED...

#5.) And was looking at a PORNO MAGAZINE on the seat next to him at the time.

The police from the crime scene took a quick break to arrest him.  He was hit with a ton of charges ranging from car theft and driving under the influence, to reckless driving and public indecency. 

(FOX 12 - Portland)

(He also wins the award for "Criminal who looks like he's straight out of a DICK TRACY cartoon.")