Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but dammit if this isn't one of the sweetest, most heartwarming crimes I've ever heard of.

29-year-old Johnnie L. Brown of Ocala, Florida has been with his girlfriend for three years.  Later this month, she's set to be released from jail.  There's no word on how long she was in for, or why she was locked up.

Anyway, Johnnie wanted to do something nice for her as a welcome-home gift.  But he's low on money.

So on Tuesday, he went to Walmart... to steal some bras.

Johnnie is missing one of his feet... it was amputated, but we're not sure why.  So he rode his motorized wheelchair through the Walmart to steal the bras.  He snatched two... a $7 red bra and a $13 zebra-striped bra... and shoved them down his pants.

Walmart security spotted him and called the police.  He was arrested for retail theft.

When he was arrested, he had $350 in his pocket... but he told the cops that was his rent money.  Quote, "I messed up, but I ain't sorry about it.  Times are rough, and sometimes you've got to take chances."

(Ocala Star Banner)

(That's right, Johnnie.  You've got to take a chance... ON LOVE.  I hope you don't go away for too long so you and your girlfriend can be together again.  Maybe you can reunite with a dine-and-dash at Olive Garden.)